Tell us what's hard right now, and we'll help you find support
Only 13.4%[1] of bereaved owners in the RSPCA's survey felt fully understood by the people around them. Write to us in your own words and we'll reply by email with options that fit.
- Write as much or as little as you like
- A reply by email, with no phone calls
- Free to ask, with nothing to buy
Please read first
If you need to talk to someone today
We answer by email, and email is slow by nature. If grief has become frightening, or you're worried about your own safety, please don't wait for us.
If you'd simply like someone to listen today, a pet bereavement helpline can often help sooner than we can. In the US, the Cornell Pet Loss Support Hotline is free, and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline takes calls and texts at any hour if things feel darker than grief. Our support services overview explains how those lines work and what a call is like.
Writing to us
What to include so we can send useful options
There's no right way to write this. A few details help us send options that fit rather than a generic list:
- Who you lost, and roughly when. Two days ago and two years ago call for different things.
- Who's grieving. Just you, a partner, children, an elderly parent, or another pet who seems lost.
- What feels hardest. Guilt about the decision, the quiet house, work, or people not understanding.
- Your country and nearest town. Support varies a lot by area, and some groups only meet locally.
- Your preferences. Online or in person, free only, or open to paid counseling.
You don't need to tell us anything medical, or anything you'd rather keep to yourself. If you're writing on someone else's behalf, say so, and we'll shape the options around them.
What happens next
What happens after you press send
- A person reads your message. It isn't sorted by a keyword robot or passed to a sales team.
- We look at what fits. Depending on what you asked, that may be groups near you, online communities, charity helplines, counselors who work with pet loss, or practical resources.
- We email you a short list. Each option comes with a line on what it involves and what it may cost, so you can decide in your own time.
- You're free to ignore it. There's no follow-up pressure. If you reply with more questions, we'll answer them.
We don't promise a reply time, because we'd rather send something considered than something fast. If your need is urgent, please use the crisis numbers above.
You're not asking too much
Things people often ask us for help with
People sometimes worry their question is too small or too odd. It rarely is. These are the kinds of requests the form is built for:
- Our cat keeps crying at the door where the dog used to sleep. Is that grief, and how do we help her?
- My eight-year-old wants to know if it was her fault. What do I say?
- I can't stop thinking we put him to sleep too early. Is there a counselor who understands that?
- I need to ask for a day off, and there's no policy at work. How do I word it?
- The first anniversary is next month and I'm dreading it. What do people do?
Work is a common one: 28.4%[2] of respondents to the RSPCA's pet bereavement survey couldn't take time off after their pet died. Children come up often too: 93.4%[3] of parents in the same survey wanted better guidance. And you can write before a loss, too: 75.4%[4] of RSPCA respondents grieved before their pet had even died. Our advice on anticipatory grief may help if your pet is still with you.
Whatever you're asking about, it helps to know the gap is real. By our estimate, roughly 850,000 bereaved US pet households a year[5] don't find the support they need. That's our calculation from a published count of US pet cremations and the share of RSPCA respondents who couldn't find help, so treat it as a sense of scale. Writing to us, or starting with our list of pet loss support resources, is one way to avoid being part of it.
Which kind of support have you tried since your loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Your details
How we treat what you tell us
What you write is used to reply to you, and that's it. We don't publish messages, turn them into stories on the site, or add you to a marketing list for asking. Share only what you're comfortable sharing; first names and a town are plenty.
If you'd like us to delete your message after we've replied, just say so in a reply. You can read more about who runs this guide before you decide to write.
Not ready to write?
Quiet ways to start on your own
Some people aren't ready to put anything into words. That's completely fine. The grief check-in takes two minutes and stays on your device. The anonymous reader polls let you see that other people feel the same way, without saying a word. And finding support near you lets you browse groups and services at your own pace.
Free tool
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Which moment of the day feels emptiest now?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What was the hardest part of losing your pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Questions people ask
Will anyone phone me after I send the form?
No. We reply by email only, and we won't pass your number to anyone to call you. If an option we suggest involves a phone conversation, like a helpline or a first chat with a counselor, you decide whether and when to make that call yourself.
Can I write on behalf of someone else who's grieving?
Yes. Friends, adult children and partners often write for someone who's struggling but not ready to reach out. Tell us a little about them and what might suit them, and we'll send options you can share. Gentle offers usually land better than pressure, so it may help to present them as ideas rather than instructions.
My pet died a long time ago. Can I still ask for support?
Of course. Grief doesn't expire, and some people only reach out months or years later, often when an anniversary, a new pet or another loss stirs it up again. Tell us roughly when your pet died and what's brought it back, and we'll suggest support that fits where you are now.
Is there a cost to use this contact form?
No, asking is free. We'll mention costs for anything we suggest, since some services, like many groups and helplines, cost nothing, while counselors set their own fees. You're never obliged to use any option we send, and you won't be charged for writing to us.
What if I don't know what kind of support I need?
That's very common, and you don't need to work it out before writing. Just describe what's been hardest, whether that's sleep, guilt, a child's questions or dreading work. We'll suggest a couple of different starting points, such as a free group and a helpline, so you can try whichever feels least daunting.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] Only 13.4% of bereaved pet owners felt fully understood by others. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] 28.4% of RSPCA survey respondents could not take time off work after their pet died. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [3] 93.4% of parents in the RSPCA survey wanted better guidance on helping children through pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [4] 75.4% of RSPCA pet-loss survey respondents experienced anticipatory grief before their pet died. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [5] Roughly 850,000 bereaved U.S. pet households a year may not find the grief support they need. Our estimate: 1.5M pet cremations x 56.7% couldn't find support. How we calculate.
Send us a note about your loss
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.