Grieving a pet is real grief. Here's where to find support that fits
In a large UK survey, 34.5%[1] of bereaved owners were told “it's just a pet”. It isn't, and you don't have to work through this alone. Tell us what would help and we'll email you support options.
- Pet loss groups, helplines and counselors, sorted by what you need
- Help for children, guilt after euthanasia and returning to work
- Private, free to ask, and no pressure to talk before you're ready
If your pet died recently
What tends to help in the first few days
The first days after a pet dies are often the strangest. You reach for the leash, listen for claws on the floor, put down two bowls out of habit. None of that means you're falling apart. It means a daily relationship has stopped mid-sentence, and your body hasn't caught up yet.
Keep the first few days simple. Eat something, even if it's toast. Tell one person who will listen without comparing, and let them know the day may be rough. You don't have to pack away the bed or wash the blanket until you choose to. Many people find that a small ritual, like lighting a candle or writing down the last good day, gives the grief somewhere to go. Our guide to personal rituals after pet loss has ideas that take ten minutes or less.
What the research says
Why losing a pet can hurt as much as losing a person
For years pet grief was treated as a minor sorrow. Newer research says otherwise. A 2026 study of 975 UK adults published in PLOS ONE found that 7.5%[2] of people whose loss was a pet met the criteria for prolonged grief disorder, a clinical pattern where intense longing doesn't ease over many months.
7.5% vs 7.8–9.1%[3]
Among people in that study who had lost both an animal and a human, 21.0%[4] said the pet's death was the most distressing. That isn't because they loved people less. An animal is often present for every ordinary hour, depends on you completely, and never judges. Losing that kind of steady company removes a whole layer of daily life at once. Our article on grieving a pet more than a person looks at why this happens and how to answer people who don't get it.
Scale that up and it stops looking unusual. By our estimate, about 7 in every 100 UK adults[5] have had a pet's death hit them harder than any human loss. It's a simple calculation: the share of adults in the study who had lost a beloved pet, multiplied by the share of those who called it their most distressing bereavement. Somewhere near you, plenty of people have felt exactly this.
Most people also underestimate what's coming. In the RSPCA's survey of more than 4,000 bereaved owners, 66.9%[6] were surprised by how intense their grief felt. If you're shocked at yourself, you're in the majority.
Disenfranchised grief
When people don't understand: grief without permission
Psychologists call it disenfranchised grief: a loss the people around you don't fully recognize. There's no card at work, no time off, and sometimes a joke about getting a new one. In the RSPCA survey, 34.5%[1] of owners had been told “it's just a pet”, and only 13.4%[7] felt fully understood by others.
Hiding it is exhausting, and it's common: 57.1%[8] of respondents felt they had to conceal their grief. That's one of the strongest reasons to talk to people who already get it. A pet loss support group or a pet bereavement helpline means you don't have to explain why this matters before you can say how you feel.
You don't need anyone's permission to miss the animal who was there every single day.
The hardest decision
Guilt after euthanasia, and why it doesn't mean you chose wrong
Most pets now die by euthanasia, so most owners carry some version of the same question: was it the right time? In a large US study of dog deaths, 83.0%[9] were by euthanasia. That's a decision you made out of love, often with incomplete information and a vet waiting for an answer. If the what-ifs keep replaying, our article on guilt after putting a pet to sleep explains why hindsight feels so certain.
A 2025 study of bereaved owners (n=123[10]) found that people whose pets were euthanized felt less guilt, not more, than those whose pets died without help, though their grief could be heavier. Grief was harder when owners felt shut out of the decision or feared they'd acted too early. Feeling supported by the vet team was linked to less guilt. If your guilt is loud, it may help to write down what you knew on the day, not what you know now.
If your pet was put to sleep, which thought keeps coming back?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
If the guilt won't settle, it's one of the most common reasons people see a counselor after a pet dies. Our overview of professional grief counseling for pet loss explains what a session looks like and how to find someone who works with animal loss.
Everyday life
The empty routine: why mornings and evenings feel so hard
A pet gives shape to a day: the early feed, the walk after work, the cat who insists on a dripping faucet. When that stops, the day loses its handholds. RSPCA respondents described the fallout clearly.
72.6% / 69.8% / 65.9%[11]
It can help to replace the time rather than leave it empty. Keep the walk, even alone. Use the evening feeding time to text someone. If you want a private sense of how you're coping, the two-minute grief check-in asks six gentle questions and suggests next steps that match where you are.
Free tool
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Finding help
Groups, helplines or a counselor: which kind of support fits
Support comes in very different shapes, and the right one depends on how you process things. Some people want a room full of others who understand. Some want one trained person and a closed door. Some just want a phone number for the bad nights.
- Support groups (in person or online) suit people who feel isolated and want to hear from others further along. Many are free.
- Pet bereavement helplines are for a single conversation when you need one, often staffed by trained volunteers.
- Counselors and therapists who understand pet loss suit guilt that won't settle, grief that's getting worse after months, or a loss that has stirred up older ones.
- Rituals and memorials give the grief a shape and a date, and many families find them grounding alongside other support.
Good support is hard to find: 56.7%[12] of RSPCA respondents said they couldn't find what they needed. That gap is why this site exists. Free lines do exist, such as the Tufts Pet Loss Support Helpline, but few people know about them until someone mentions it. Curious how other readers found their footing? The live poll results show which kinds of support they tried. Our support services page explains each option in detail, including rough costs and what to ask before you book.
How this works
How we help you find support, and what we don't do
We're an independent guide, not a clinic. We don't provide therapy or diagnose anything. What we do is research the pet loss support that exists, from free groups to counselors who specialize in animal loss, and help you find options that fit your situation and where you live.
Use the form at the top of this page to tell us what you're dealing with, whether that's a child who keeps asking questions, guilt about the timing, or dread about going back to work. We'll email you practical options. You can read how we research and write before you decide, and browse local support by area if you'd rather look yourself.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Which kind of support have you tried since your loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What was the hardest part of losing your pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Compared with losing a person, losing your pet felt...
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Free tools to help you plan
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Pet age & senior years calculator
Convert your pet's age and see when senior-care and planning conversations usually start.
Questions people ask
Is it normal to grieve this much for a pet?
Yes. Research now puts pet grief alongside grief for people: a 2026 UK study found prolonged grief after a pet's death at rates close to those after losing a close friend. How much it hurts tracks how close you were, not what species they were. Deep grief is a sign of a deep bond, not a sign that something is wrong with you.
How long does grief for a pet last?
There's no fixed timetable. Many people notice the sharpest pain easing over weeks to a few months, while waves still come on anniversaries or when a routine catches them off guard. If after six months or more you can't function day to day, or the longing is getting stronger rather than softer, that's a good time to talk to a professional.
When should I see a counselor about pet loss?
You don't need to wait for things to get bad. Reasons people seek a counselor include guilt that keeps looping, trouble sleeping or eating for weeks, not being able to work, or a pet loss that has reopened an older grief. Look for someone who has experience with bereavement and ask directly whether they've worked with animal loss before.
Are there free pet loss support options?
Many are free. Several veterinary schools and animal charities run pet loss support lines, and plenty of online groups and forums cost nothing. In the UK, the Blue Cross runs a free Pet Bereavement Support Service. Some in-person groups ask for a small donation. Counseling usually has a fee, though some workplace employee assistance programs cover a few sessions.
Can you give me counseling through this site?
No. We're a guide and request service, not a therapy provider. We explain how pet loss support works and email you options, such as groups, helplines and counselors who work with animal loss. If you're in crisis, contact 988 in the US or Canada, Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK or Ireland, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 in Australia.
Why do I feel guilty even though euthanasia was the kind choice?
Because you were responsible for them, and the decision had to be made with imperfect information. Guilt is one of the most common reactions after euthanasia, even when owners are sure it was right. Research suggests support from the vet team and feeling included in the decision both ease it. Talking it through, rather than replaying it alone, usually helps.
Keep reading
Kinds of pet loss support
Groups, helplines, counselors, rituals and workplace leave, explained.
The pet grief timeline
What grief can look like over weeks and months, without fake stages.
Gentle tools for hard days
A grief check-in, a farewell planner and more.
How other owners are coping
Live, anonymous answers from people grieving a pet.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 34.5% of bereaved pet owners were told 'it's just a pet'. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] 7.5% of UK adults whose bereavement was the death of a pet met criteria for prolonged grief disorder (PGD). Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [3] PGD rates after a pet's death (7.5%) were close to those after the death of a close friend (7.8%), other family member (8.3%), sibling (8.9%) and partner (9.1%). Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [4] Among UK adults who had lost both a pet and a person, 21.0% named the pet's death as their most distressing bereavement. Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [5] About 7 in every 100 UK adults may have had a pet's death hit harder than any human loss. Our estimate: 32.6% have lost a pet x 21% chose pet as most distressing. How we calculate.
- [6] 66.9% of respondents were surprised by how intense their grief was after losing a pet. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [7] Only 13.4% of bereaved pet owners felt fully understood by others. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [8] 57.1% felt they had to hide their grief after a pet died, and 57.8% perceive stigma around pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [9] In the Dog Aging Project, 83.0% of 646 US dog deaths (Dec 2019-Mar 2021) were by euthanasia. Dog Aging Project End of Life Survey - Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association (2026), via PubMed Central, 2026.
- [10] A 2025 study of 123 bereaved pet owners found owners of euthanized pets felt less guilt but more grief than owners whose pets died without euthanasia. 'Euthanasia and prolonged grief: A cross-sectional study with bereaved pet owners', Journal of Veterinary Behavior 79:60-67 (2025), Univ. of Lisbon research portal, 2025.
- [11] After losing a pet, 72.6% lost their daily routine or sense of purpose, 69.8% had trouble concentrating and 65.9% had sleep problems. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [12] 56.7% of bereaved pet owners in the RSPCA survey could not find the support they needed. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
Find pet loss support that suits you
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.