Small, private tools for the hardest weeks
66.9%[1] of bereaved owners in the RSPCA's survey were surprised by how hard grief hit. These tools won't fix that, but they can make a few decisions and a few days feel more manageable.
- Free, private and nothing to sign up for
- Each one takes a few minutes
- Gentle wording, written for grieving people
Why these exist
Why a few simple tools can help when your head is foggy
Grief is hard on concentration. Choices that would normally take a minute, like how to mark the day or what to spend on a keepsake, can feel impossible. Each tool here does one small job, shows the result straight away, and stays on your own device. You don't need to create an account or give an email address.
None of them diagnose anything or replace a person. Think of them as a notepad that asks the right questions. If a result makes you want to talk to someone, the kinds of support we cover are a good next step.
How am I doing?
The grief check-in: a quiet read on how you're coping
Six statements, each answered with a simple agree or disagree, about sleep, focus, guilt and whether people around you understand. The result is a plain-language summary, such as “raw and early” or “finding your feet”, with suggestions that match. It isn't a clinical test, and it always shows crisis numbers.
Free tool
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
It's useful a few weeks apart, to notice whether things are softening. Read how the check-in works for what each statement is asking and why.
Marking the loss
The farewell planner: a simple goodbye, written down
Choose who you'd like there, where to gather, and which rituals feel right: a candle, a short reading, a planting, a letter to your pet. The planner turns it into a checklist you can print or save. It works just as well for a ten-minute moment in the garden as for a small gathering with friends.
Free tool
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
It's also handy for anniversaries and for families with children, who often cope better with a clear, small job to do. More ideas are on the farewell planner page.
Before a loss
The pet age calculator: for grief that starts early
Grief doesn't always wait. 75.4%[2] of RSPCA respondents felt anticipatory grief before their pet died. Knowing where your animal is in their life, and how long pets of that kind usually live, can turn vague dread into a plan. US dogs live about 12.69 years[3] on average, according to a large study of dogs and cats seen at Banfield hospitals, but it varies a lot by size and species. By our calculation from the same data, small-breed dogs outlive giant breeds by about 4 years[4].
Free tool
Pet age & senior years calculator
Convert your pet's age and see when senior-care and planning conversations usually start.
The pet age calculator converts age to human years and life stage, with a gentle prompt about planning ahead.
Money and memorials
The memorial budget planner: keep costs from adding to the hurt
Money worries sit awkwardly beside grief, and many people feel guilty for even thinking about them. In a US survey, 61%[5] of owners said the cost of aftercare was a concern. The memorial budget planner adds up cremation, keepsakes and a small ceremony as a low-to-high range, so you can choose what matters without an unwelcome surprise later.
Free tool
Memorial budget planner
Add up cremation, urn, keepsakes and a farewell so the total holds no surprises.
Decisions made in a hurry
Aftercare options compared, calmly and in one place
Regret about aftercare often comes from not knowing there was a choice. In the UK, only 47%[6] of cremation buyers remembered being told about a range of options, according to the Competition and Markets Authority's review of vet services. The aftercare options comparison ranks private and communal cremation, water cremation, home burial and pet cemeteries against what you care about most: cost, keeping ashes, the environment, speed or ceremony.
Free tool
Aftercare options compared
Compare private, communal and water cremation with burial on cost, timing and what comes home.
If your pet is already cremated or buried and you're second-guessing the choice, you're not alone, and it's something a pet loss support group hears about often.
Tools and people together
How to use these tools alongside real support
A tool can help you name what you're feeling, but it can't sit with you. The most useful way to treat a result is as something to bring to a conversation. If the check-in says you're sleeping badly and feel you have to hide your grief, that's a clear, concrete thing to tell a friend, a helpline volunteer or a counselor, and it's far easier than starting from nothing.
Some people print the farewell plan and hand it to a partner so they don't have to organize everything alone. Others share the budget range with family so decisions about keepsakes are made together. Small shared tasks tend to ease the isolation that so many bereaved owners describe.
Which moment of the day feels emptiest now?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
If you notice that your answers get heavier rather than lighter over a month or two, or you're struggling to eat, sleep or work, please talk to a professional. Tell us what you're facing and we'll email options, or read about pet loss counseling first. You can also browse pet loss support near you or see how other readers are coping on the live poll results page. In a crisis, call or text 988 in the US or Canada, Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 in Australia.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
How do you mark the day your pet died?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Free tools to help you plan
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Pet age & senior years calculator
Convert your pet's age and see when senior-care and planning conversations usually start.
Memorial budget planner
Add up cremation, urn, keepsakes and a farewell so the total holds no surprises.
Aftercare options compared
Compare private, communal and water cremation with burial on cost, timing and what comes home.
Questions people ask
Do these tools save or share my answers?
The tools run in your browser and show results on the page. You don't need to sign up, and nothing you enter in a tool is sent to us. If you'd like us to suggest support based on your situation, you can choose to tell us through the form, and that's entirely separate.
Is the grief check-in a mental health test?
No. It's a short, non-clinical reflection that puts how you're feeling into plain words and suggests ideas that might help. It can't diagnose depression or prolonged grief. If you're worried about your mental health, a doctor or licensed counselor is the right person to talk to.
Which tool should I start with?
If your pet has just died, the grief check-in or the farewell planner are gentle places to begin. If your pet is older or unwell, the pet age calculator and aftercare comparison help you plan while there's time to think. The budget planner is useful whenever money is part of the worry.
Can I use the tools for a pet that died a while ago?
Yes. The check-in and farewell planner work at any point, including before an anniversary or when grief comes back unexpectedly. Some people use the farewell planner a year on, to hold the ceremony they couldn't manage at the time. There's no deadline on any of this.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 66.9% of respondents were surprised by how intense their grief was after losing a pet. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] 75.4% of RSPCA pet-loss survey respondents experienced anticipatory grief before their pet died. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [3] US dogs have an average life expectancy at birth of 12.69 years. Montoya et al. 2023, Frontiers in Veterinary Science - Banfield Pet Hospital life expectancy tables (13.3 million dogs, 2.4 million cats, 2013-2019), 2023.
- [4] Small-breed dogs in the US outlive giant breeds by about 4.0 years on average. Our estimate: Small-dog life expectancy (13.53) - giant-dog life expectancy (9.51). How we calculate.
- [5] 61% of US owners in the Cooney survey rated the cost of after-death body care as a concern (27.9% concerned, 33.1% very concerned). Cooney, Kogan, Brooks, Ellis - Pet Owners' Expectations for Pet End-of-Life Support and After-Death Body Care, Topics in Companion Animal Medicine (2020), 2020.
- [6] Fewer than half (47%) of UK cremation buyers recalled being told about a range of options, including communal cremation or home burial. UK Competition and Markets Authority - Veterinary services for household pets, Provisional decision report Part A (Oct 2025), 2025.
Want support matched to your answers?
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.