Quiet questions about pet loss, answered anonymously
In the RSPCA's survey, 57.1%[1] of bereaved owners felt they had to hide their grief. These one-click polls let you say how it really is, without anyone knowing it was you.
- One click, no name, no email
- See live answers straight after you vote
- Questions about the parts people rarely say out loud
Why these polls exist
Why we ask grieving owners these questions
A lot of pet grief happens in private. People cry in the car, not at the office. They wonder about the euthanasia decision at 3 a.m. and never mention it. The polls below are a way to put those thoughts somewhere, and to see that other people are carrying the same ones.
Each poll takes one click. You'll see how everyone else has answered as soon as you vote. Browse them all below, or jump straight to the full live results.
Browse every poll
What grieving a pet is really like day to day, and which kinds of support people reach for.
If your pet was put to sleep, which thought keeps coming back?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What words did you use to tell a child the pet had died?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Which moment of the day feels emptiest now?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Did your other animals seem to notice the loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Which feels truest about bringing home another animal?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
How did your workplace respond when your pet died?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
How do you mark the day your pet died?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Which kind of support have you tried since your loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Reading the numbers
How to read a reader poll, and what it can't tell you
These are informal polls, not scientific surveys. The people who vote are the people who found this site, often in the raw weeks after a loss, so the answers lean toward people who are actively looking for help. Results change every time someone votes, so a figure you saw yesterday may be different today.
They're good for one thing in particular: showing you that your reaction isn't unusual. For firmer numbers, we lean on published research, such as the RSPCA's survey of more than 4,000 bereaved owners and a 2026 PLOS ONE study of prolonged grief. Where nobody has counted something yet, we do the arithmetic and label it: by our estimate, about 110,000 US pet owners a year[2] may go on to meet the criteria for prolonged grief disorder after a pet dies. You'll find those figures across the site and on our research page.
The questions
What the questions are really about
We picked topics that come up again and again in pet loss research and in the notes people send us.
- Euthanasia and guilt. A 2025 study of bereaved owners (n=123[3]) found grief was heavier for those who feared they'd acted too early or felt left out of the decision. Our poll asks which thought keeps returning.
- Children. 93.4%[4] of parents in the RSPCA survey wanted better guidance. We ask what words families actually used.
- Work. With only 11%[5] of US employers offering paid pet loss leave, we ask how workplaces really responded.
- Other pets, the empty routine, anniversaries and a new pet. The everyday parts of grief that rarely get studied, but shape most people's weeks.
If your pet was put to sleep, which thought keeps coming back?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
If a question hits hard, you can skip it. Several polls include an option like “I feel at peace” or “not yet” because not everyone's grief looks the same.
A question people ask us a lot
Do other animals in the house grieve too?
Owners often notice a surviving dog pacing to the door or a cat calling through the house. Animals clearly notice when a companion disappears and routines change, even if we can't know exactly what they feel. Keeping their own routine steady, offering extra company and giving them time usually helps. If appetite drops for more than a day or two, check in with your vet.
Did your other animals seem to notice the loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Your own grief may shift when you see theirs. Some people find comfort in caring for the animal who's left; others find it painful. Both are normal, and the grief check-in can help you notice how you're doing.
Looking ahead
Anniversaries and the question of another pet
Two of our polls look forward rather than back. The first asks how people mark the day their pet died. For many, the first anniversary lands harder than expected, because it arrives with the same season, the same light and sometimes the same weather. Planning something small in advance, like a walk on the old route or a donation to a rescue in their name, can take the dread out of the date.
The second asks how people feel about bringing home another animal. There's no correct timing. Some homes feel wrong without an animal in them within weeks; others need a year or more, and some people decide they're done. Friction within families is common, especially when one person is ready long before another. A new pet doesn't replace the one who died, and choosing to wait isn't a failure of love either.
Which feels truest about bringing home another animal?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
If an anniversary is coming up, the farewell planner works just as well for a remembrance day as for a first goodbye, and our piece on choosing a personal ritual has more ideas.
What happens with your vote
How your answers shape what we write next
Votes are anonymous and counted in total only. We look at which questions people answer most and which options surprise us, and use that to decide what needs a better guide. For example, if many readers say they told a child a softer story, that's a sign our article on helping children after pet loss should say more about how to revisit it later.
If there's a question you wish we'd ask, or you want support rather than a poll, write to us, read about the kinds of support available, or look for pet loss support near you. And if you'd like to read before you vote, start with understanding pet loss grief.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Did your other animals seem to notice the loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Which feels truest about bringing home another animal?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
How long before you felt ready for another pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Questions people ask
Are the pet loss polls really anonymous?
Yes. You don't enter a name or email to vote, and results are only ever shown as totals. We limit voting to one answer per person per poll so the counts aren't skewed by repeat clicks, but nothing links your vote to who you are.
Can I change my answer later?
Grief shifts, so it's natural to feel differently in a few months. To keep counting simple, each browser records one vote per poll. If your feelings have changed a lot, the most useful thing may be to try the grief check-in again, which is designed to be repeated over time.
Why are there no results shown before I vote?
Seeing others' answers first can nudge people toward the most popular option. Voting first keeps your answer your own. Straight after you vote, you'll see the live totals, and every poll's current results are also collected on the results page.
Are these polls a substitute for research on pet grief?
No. They're informal and self-selected, so they can't tell you how common something is in the population. Published studies, like the RSPCA's large pet loss survey and the 2026 PLOS ONE prolonged grief study, are more reliable for that. The polls are here to help you feel less alone, not to replace evidence.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 57.1% felt they had to hide their grief after a pet died, and 57.8% perceive stigma around pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] Each year about 110,000 U.S. pet owners may go on to meet prolonged grief disorder criteria after a pet dies. Our estimate: 1.5M pet cremations (proxy for pet deaths with an engaged owner) x 7.5% PGD rate. How we calculate.
- [3] A 2025 study of 123 bereaved pet owners found owners of euthanized pets felt less guilt but more grief than owners whose pets died without euthanasia. 'Euthanasia and prolonged grief: A cross-sectional study with bereaved pet owners', Journal of Veterinary Behavior 79:60-67 (2025), Univ. of Lisbon research portal, 2025.
- [4] 93.4% of parents in the RSPCA survey wanted better guidance on helping children through pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [5] Only 11% of employers offer paid pet loss leave, according to an AbsenceSoft survey. AbsenceSoft — Understanding Pet Bereavement Leave and Its Importance to Today's Workforce, 2025.
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