How are you really doing since your pet died?
Two in three owners in the RSPCA's survey, 66.9%[1], were surprised by how intense their grief was. This short check-in helps you put words to where you are, privately.
- Six statements, about two minutes
- Stays on your device; nothing is sent
- Suggestions that match where you are
A gentle check-in
Six statements, about two minutes. This isn't a test or a diagnosis, just a moment to notice how you're doing. Your answers stay on this screen and are never saved or sent.
Choose the answer that feels closest for each statement. There are no right answers.
If you're struggling to cope or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out now.
Source: RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results. This check-in is not a clinical assessment
When you're ready: Talk to someone about a memorial or aftercare →
Using the check-in
How to use the check-in, and when
Read each statement and choose how much it sounds like you this week, from "not really" to "very much", not how you think you should feel. There are no trick questions and no score to pass. The summary appears once all six are answered, and it updates if you change an answer, so you can go back if you picked something by mistake. A button clears everything when you're done.
It works at any point: two days after a loss, a month in, or the week before an anniversary. Many people find it most useful when repeated every few weeks, because the shift from one result to the next shows movement that's hard to notice day to day.
Behind the questions
What the six statements are asking about
The statements cover experiences that bereaved owners describe again and again. The RSPCA's pet loss survey of more than 4,000 people, which the check-in cites, found that grief reaches far beyond sadness into sleep, focus and everyday structure.
72.6% / 69.8% / 65.9%[2]
- Disbelief: whether it still feels hard to believe your pet is gone.
- Expecting them: catching yourself waiting at mealtimes or listening for the door.
- Getting through the day: whether you can manage most of what the day asks of you.
- Someone to talk to: whether there's a person you can talk to about your pet.
- Guilt: whether "what ifs" keep coming back, often about euthanasia timing.
- Happy memories: whether you can think of good times without being overwhelmed.
Withdrawing is common: 56.4% / 43.1%[3] in the same survey pulled back from others or noticed appetite changes. That's why one statement asks whether you have someone to talk to, because isolation tends to make everything else harder.
Your summary
What each kind of result means
Instead of a number, you get one of three short descriptions in everyday words: raw and early, riding the waves or finding your feet. Behind the scenes each answer scores 0 to 3, with the three steadier statements counted in reverse, and the total out of 18 sets the description. Each comes with two suggestions, plus up to three extra notes: on finding someone to talk to, on guilt, and on seeing a doctor if the days are hard to get through. Someone in the rawest stage is pointed toward simple self-care and one person to confide in; someone further on sees ideas for a lasting memorial.
No result is good or bad. Feeling raw three months on doesn't mean you're failing; it may mean the bond was very close, which research shows is the strongest predictor of grief severity whatever the species. A heavy result is also far from unusual. By our estimate, about 7 in every 100 UK adults[4] have found a pet's death harder than any human loss they've had, a figure we calculated from the share of adults who'd lost a pet and the share of those who called it their worst bereavement. Our pet grief timeline explains why grief rarely moves in a straight line.
A worked example
Example: six weeks after a cat's euthanasia
Imagine someone whose 16-year-old cat was put to sleep six weeks ago. They answer "very much" to expecting their cat at the usual times, especially the morning feed, and to guilt, because they keep asking whether they chose the right day. Disbelief has eased to "a little", and they can get through most of the day "somewhat". Friends have been kind, but a colleague said “it was only a cat”. They have friends to talk to ("very much") and can think of happy memories "somewhat", mostly in the garden.
Their summary would read riding the waves, with the extra note about guilt. The check-in suggests planning something gentle for the hardest time of day, a small ritual such as a walk, and talking the decision through, including with their vet. Ideas of their own could follow: writing down what they knew on the day of the decision, joining one pet loss support group meeting, or a few sessions with a counselor who understands pet loss if the guilt won't loosen. Our article on guilt after euthanasia walks through the most common what-ifs.
If your pet was put to sleep, which thought keeps coming back?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Being honest about limits
What the check-in can't tell you
This is a reflection tool, not a clinical assessment. It can't diagnose depression, anxiety or prolonged grief disorder, and a gentle result doesn't rule them out. Prolonged grief after pet loss is real: a 2026 UK study in PLOS ONE found it in 7.5%[5] of people whose bereavement was a pet. The NHS page on grief after bereavement suggests seeing a doctor if low mood lasts more than two weeks or the feelings don't get any easier over time. Only a qualified professional who talks with you can assess that.
After your result
Next steps that match where you are
If your result points toward support, the overview of pet loss support explains groups, helplines and counseling side by side. If it points toward marking the loss, the farewell planner helps you shape a small ritual. If you'd rather someone else did the searching, tell us what came up and we'll email options near you, or browse pet loss support by area yourself. The live poll results show, anonymously, how other readers are coping.
Many people discover they're not alone in wanting better support: 56.7%[6] of RSPCA respondents couldn't find it. For a wider list of books, podcasts and groups, see our round-up of pet loss support resources.
Free tool
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Which kind of support have you tried since your loss?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Questions people ask
Is the pet loss grief check-in a diagnosis?
No. It's a non-clinical reflection that describes how you're coping in plain words and suggests ideas that might help. It can't diagnose depression or prolonged grief disorder. If you're worried about your mental health, please talk to a doctor or a licensed counselor, who can assess you properly.
Are my check-in answers stored anywhere?
The check-in runs in your browser and shows your result on the page. Your answers aren't sent to us or saved to an account. If you'd like to keep your result, write it down or take a screenshot so you can compare it next time.
How often should I take the grief check-in?
Every two to four weeks works well for most people. Much more often and the day-to-day swings of grief can make results look erratic. Much less and you may miss changes worth noticing. Taking it before an anniversary or a big change, like a new pet, can also help you prepare.
What if my result says I'm doing fine but I don't feel fine?
Trust yourself over a six-question tool. Grief can hit in ways no short set of statements captures, like a single overwhelming memory or a numbness that feels calm on paper. If you're struggling, that's reason enough to reach out to a helpline, a support group or a counselor.
Can children use the grief check-in?
It's written for adults. Children usually show grief through behavior rather than words, like clinginess, trouble sleeping or questions that come out at bedtime. A parent can use the check-in for themselves and then talk with a child using simple, honest language. Our article on helping children after pet loss has age-by-age ideas.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 66.9% of respondents were surprised by how intense their grief was after losing a pet. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] After losing a pet, 72.6% lost their daily routine or sense of purpose, 69.8% had trouble concentrating and 65.9% had sleep problems. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [3] 56.4% of bereaved pet owners withdrew socially and 43.1% had appetite changes. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [4] About 7 in every 100 UK adults may have had a pet's death hit harder than any human loss. Our estimate: 32.6% have lost a pet x 21% chose pet as most distressing. How we calculate.
- [5] 7.5% of UK adults whose bereavement was the death of a pet met criteria for prolonged grief disorder (PGD). Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [6] 56.7% of bereaved pet owners in the RSPCA survey could not find the support they needed. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
Want support that fits your result?
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.