Missing them in Toorak: where to find pet loss support
With about 4,000 dog- or cat-owning households in Toorak by our estimate, pet loss touches a lot of your neighbors. You don't have to carry it alone. Here's where to start.
- Support that fits how you grieve
- Help for children and teenagers
- Wording for a time-off request at work
Toorak, Victoria
Finding your footing after a loss in Toorak
Many Toorak families have relatives interstate or overseas, so a farewell sometimes happens over a video call. That can still feel meaningful. Grief often surfaces on routines: the morning coffee on Toorak Road, the spot by the fireplace, the quiet evening at home. That is normal and usually softens with time. Some families light a candle on the mantel each evening for the first week.
If the sadness is still heavy after a few weeks, Melbourne has pet loss counsellors and support groups, and national phone lines are available too. Many people find it helps to talk to someone who does not think they should be over it by now. Children tend to manage better with honest language and a job to do, such as choosing a plant for the garden.
Where the internet is patchy around Toorak, video groups may not be practical, but a phone call works almost anywhere. Charity and university pet loss lines exist in several countries, and general listening services take calls about any loss. Some also answer by email, which you can write at any hour and read later when you have a signal. Writing suits people who find it easier to type than to talk.
Toorak's population is around 12,000, the 5th-largest of the 5 Victoria communities we cover. The nearest larger centre is Melbourne, about 3 miles (5 km) away, which is where some providers serving Toorak are based.
Nearby, we also have local pages for Melbourne (3 miles, a larger centre), Geelong (41 miles, a larger centre) and Ballarat (66 miles, a larger centre), which can help if your vet or the provider you prefer is based there.
Our estimate
4,000
How many dog- or cat-owning households Toorak has (estimate)
How we calculated this
12,000 ÷ 2.5 = 4,800 households; × 49% (dog) + 34% (cat) = 4,000. Homes are counted once however many pets they keep.
Our estimate
330
Estimated dog and cat losses in Toorak each year
How we calculated this
4,000 dog/cat-owning homes ÷ average lifespan (dog: 12.69 yrs + cat: 11.18 yrs) ≈ 330 a year. A floor, not a ceiling.
49%[1]
49% of Australian households have at least one dog, up from 40% in 2019.
12.69 years[2]
US dogs have an average life expectancy at birth of 12.69 years.
34%[3]
34% of Australian households have at least one cat, up from 27% in 2019.
11.18 years[4]
US cats seen at Banfield hospitals have an average life expectancy at birth of 11.18 years.
We built the this numbers from Montoya et al. 2023, Frontiers in Veterinary Science and Animal Medicines Australia, Pets in Australia 2025 (media release), and both are worth a look if you want the detail.
Funeral customs in Australia and pet grief
In Australia, about 71%[5] of people are cremated, and many families now skip a traditional funeral in favor of something smaller and more personal. That shift has made it more acceptable to mark a pet's death, too. If you'd like to hold a short gathering for the friends who knew your pet, you're likely to find people here receptive rather than puzzled, and some may be glad to be asked.
For the Australia figure we rely on FuneralSmart (2023). Read it as a picture of local custom around death and remembrance in Toorak rather than as pet data.
How Toorak's climate shapes remembering
If you're planning an outdoor memorial, a planting or a scattering in or around Toorak, choose a season and time of day that's comfortable for everyone. There's no deadline. Many families keep the ashes at home for months and wait for weather, or an anniversary, that feels right.
Free and paid support for Toorak families
By our estimate, about 583,000 pet dogs[6] die in Australia each year, and around 173,000 dogs and cats[7] in New Zealand. That's a lot of quiet grief in places like Toorak, and most of the support that helps is free: helplines, online groups and remembrance events run by animal charities. Paid counseling, billed by the session, is the main expense.
For a line-by-line price table, see the Victoria overview; for what's included in each option, see our services.
Free tool
Memorial budget planner
Add up cremation, urn, keepsakes and a farewell so the total holds no surprises.
Practical rules worth knowing in Victoria
Shared spaces need a little diplomacy. A garden in a shared building, a family farm owned by several siblings or a community plot in Victoria each involve someone else's permission, even where the law allows a burial or scattering. A short conversation beforehand avoids hurt feelings later. The rules we have on record for Victoria are set out below.
In Australia, Lifeline answers on 13 11 14 for anyone who's struggling. Pet ownership is among the highest in the world, so pet loss is common, and some animal welfare groups and pet crematoria hold remembrance events. Many councils restrict backyard burial in suburban areas, so check before digging; a memorial planting in a large pot is a good alternative if you rent.
Home burial and scattering are governed at the Victoria level first; our Victoria rules summary has the detail. Then check whether Toorak or your HOA adds anything.
Getting through the first month
- Tell one person tonight. A text is enough. Somebody should know you're going through this alone.
- Change the silence. Put the radio on, play a podcast or phone someone at the times your pet used to fill; the quiet loses some of its sting.
- Put one outing a day on the calendar, however small: a coffee, a library visit, a walk at the old time.
- Find an evening online group, since the hours after dinner are often when living alone feels loudest.
- Keep an eye on drinking and sleep. On your own, it's easy for both to drift. If they do, talk to your doctor.
- If a night turns very dark, call a crisis line. Every sort of grief is a fair reason to ring, and feeling the way you do is reason enough on its own.
Remembering your pet around Toorak
Farewells in Toorak are often quiet and private: family gathered in the garden under a big old tree, a favourite toy or blanket laid alongside, a few words said before anyone arrives. If you want a more structured goodbye, some providers offer a viewing room or will come to the house. Take as long as you need; nobody should hurry you.
use the free tools before you ring anyone, or see how other readers answered in our polls, See what each option includes on our services page, there are guides for the big decisions and articles for the details. If you live between Toorak and Geelong, Melbourne, Bendigo and Ballarat, either page applies. Every other community in Victoria, and all of Australia, is listed too.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
How do you mark the day your pet died?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Which moment of the day feels emptiest now?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
If you had to decide today, which aftercare would you choose for your pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Free tools to help you plan
Memorial budget planner
Add up cremation, urn, keepsakes and a farewell so the total holds no surprises.
Pet loss grief check-in
A private, two-minute check-in on how you're coping, with ideas that match where you are.
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Questions people ask
Which nearby towns can I compare with Toorak?
The closest communities we cover are Melbourne (about 3 miles), Geelong (about 41 miles) and Ballarat (about 66 miles). Providers based in those places often serve Toorak too. Ask each one for a written total that includes collection, so the distance is priced in.
Is Toorak big enough to have several pet aftercare providers?
Probably, on the numbers. By our estimate about 4,000 Toorak households keep a dog or cat and around 330 lose one each year, which is enough steady demand to support more than one provider. We derive that from population (about 12,000), household size and national ownership and lifespan figures.
Will I have to travel to Melbourne to arrange things?
Not usually. Providers based in Melbourne (roughly 3 miles from Toorak) collect from here as a matter of routine, and the paperwork is done by email or phone. If you want to be present for a witnessed cremation, that is when the drive matters.
Is cremation common in Australia?
For people, yes: about 71%[5] of Australia deaths end in cremation, according to FuneralSmart (2023). Nobody publishes the same figure for pets, but in our experience pet choices in Toorak follow the human pattern closely, so cremation is the default most families here start from.
Why do I feel so guilty after putting my pet to sleep?
Because you were responsible for them and had to decide with incomplete information. Guilt is one of the most common reactions after euthanasia, even when the timing was right. Most pets now die this way: in a large US study, 83.0%[9] of dog deaths were by euthanasia. Writing down what you knew on the day, and talking it through with someone, usually eases the loop.
Is it normal to grieve my pet more than some people I've lost?
Yes, and it's more common than people admit. In a 2026 UK study, 21.0%[10] of people who had lost both a pet and a person named the pet's death as their most distressing loss. Research comparing the two found closeness, not species, is the strongest predictor of how much it hurts. A pet shares every ordinary hour, which is exactly why the gap feels so big.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 49% of Australian households have at least one dog, up from 40% in 2019. Animal Medicines Australia, Pets in Australia 2025 (media release), 2025.
- [2] US dogs have an average life expectancy at birth of 12.69 years. Montoya et al. 2023, Frontiers in Veterinary Science - Banfield Pet Hospital life expectancy tables (13.3 million dogs, 2.4 million cats, 2013-2019), 2023.
- [3] 34% of Australian households have at least one cat, up from 27% in 2019. Animal Medicines Australia, Pets in Australia 2025 (media release), 2025.
- [4] US cats seen at Banfield hospitals have an average life expectancy at birth of 11.18 years. Montoya et al. 2023, Frontiers in Veterinary Science - Banfield Pet Hospital life expectancy tables (13.3 million dogs, 2.4 million cats, 2013-2019), 2023.
- [5] Australian cremation rates hovered around 70-72% between 2020 and 2023, with Sydney and Melbourne often above 80%. FuneralSmart, 2023.
- [6] About 583,000 pet dogs likely die in Australia each year. Our estimate: Australia dog population (7.4M) / US dog life expectancy (12.69 yrs, proxy). How we calculate.
- [7] About 173,000 pet dogs and cats likely die in New Zealand each year (~65,000 dogs and ~107,000 cats). Our estimate: NZ dogs (830k)/12.69 + NZ cats (1.26M)/11.74. How we calculate.
- [8] Roughly 850,000 bereaved U.S. pet households a year may not find the grief support they need. Our estimate: 1.5M pet cremations x 56.7% couldn't find support. How we calculate.
- [9] In the Dog Aging Project, 83.0% of 646 US dog deaths (Dec 2019-Mar 2021) were by euthanasia. Dog Aging Project End of Life Survey - Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association (2026), via PubMed Central, 2026.
- [10] Among UK adults who had lost both a pet and a person, 21.0% named the pet's death as their most distressing bereavement. Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
Get Toorak support options by email
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.